Yanina Nikitina | This is how you’ll feel before giving your first public talk (or something close to this).
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This is how you’ll feel before giving your first public talk (or something close to this).

Few things I have learned while preparing and then giving my Self-Love talk:

  1. It makes sense to have a plan as to when you want your talk to be written but most probably things won’t go according to your plan.


My plan was to finish writing my talk one month before the event so I would have 1 month to improve and rehearse it. This was my intention. In reality I started to write it down exactly one week up to the actual event and finished it 1 day before. What I have learned from it: your creative thoughts need to get ripe in your head; and only when they are ripe they can be released to this world. I could compare creative process with the process of bearing a child. A child is growing in his mother’s womb during 9 months and only then he/she is ready to come to this world. If it comes before, there is a risk of complications. The same was with my talk – when I was finishing to write it down, the words were coming out on the paper so easily and effortlessly, almost as if it was not me who was typing them. It felt like a most natural birth ever. Strange coincidence but 2 weeks prior to my talk I stumbled upon a Self-Acceptance on-line summit with 30 renowned experts talking on this subject. I listened almost all of the interviews and it’s needless to say that I have learned a lot from them. If you ask me how I found out about this summit, I have no ideas. It just came to me.


2. The more you rehearse your talk in front of the mirror the more “mirror detox” you will need after you are done with the talk. Basically, you will have enough of seeing yourself in the mirror.


3. The more you record your voice and listen to it afterwards, the more you will criticise yourself for a) using wrong words b) your voice being too flat c) making mistakes d) anything else you usually pick on yourself.  Most probably you will also compare your talk with some famous public speaker and will come to conclusion that your talk in rubbish. You will end up by asking yourself a question “Who am I to do this talk?”


4. When you’ll finally be standing in front of the audience, you will realise that there is no way back and the only way is forward. Somewhere in the middle of your talk a thought will cross you mind “What the hell am I talking about?


5. You will be looking at the audience and almost all of them will have such serious faces that you will take it personally and will think that they might not like what you are saying. Even your friends who’ll come to support you will have serious faces. At the end of the talk people who had the most serious faces will come to say “thank you” and will tell you that your talk was exactly what they needed to hear. When you ask your friends why they had serious faces, they will say “Because we were listening!”


6. There will be few people who will leave just after you finish talking, even before Q&A, and again you will think that they didn’t like the talk. So basically, you will put more attention on few people who probably didn’t like it rather than on the 25 who actually loved it and told you about it.


7. You will feel a bit “high” after having listened to all nice words people will come to tell you and you will be so busy that you won’t be able to properly chat with everybody. Nice feeling, I must say.


8.  You will have this enormous feeling of accomplishment and deep in your heart you will know that next talk will be only better, and then another one even more better and that when you speak from your heart, your words will always resonate with those who are ready to hear them.

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